Mediation
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The mediator will make introductory statements describing the voluntary nature of the process and ensure initial questions or concerns about logistics, the process, the environment and payment for services are addressed. The role of the mediator serving as a neutral party is discussed and each party has the opportunity to ask questions and gain assurances about the mediator’s role, any perceived biases of the mediator, and address trust issues related to confidence in the mediator’s neutrality. Each party has the opportunity to decide whether the process should continue as planned and a signed agreement to mediate is completed.
Each party will then be asked to make an opening statement about the issues that require mediating. At this time, the parties may discuss concerns openly as to what has happened that brings each party to mediation. Following each opening statement the mediator offers a summary and the opportunity to add on to or clarify each opening statement is provided.
After the opening statements and summary from the mediator the first stage of the decision making process is discussed including identifying shared values and mutual interests. This discussion creates a standard to use for judging the efficacy and sustainability of the agreements over time. When an agreement is based on shared values, it represents an overarching approach to how current as well as future conflicts should be solved.
Proposals are then offered followed by open brainstorming with interest based discussion. As proposals and possible solutions are generated, the voice of each party is recognized and valued with the goal that barriers can be honestly voiced.
Optional caucus: This meeting is a private meeting with the mediator in a one to one setting to discuss the mediation process, willingness to continue, brainstorm additional proposals, create or add on to existing proposals, or discuss other options. Mediators provide the caucus to each party separately while the opposing party takes a break.
It is recommended that whenever the mediation resumes following the caucus. It is helpful to think of this process as a funnel with a shared pool of knowledge entering the top of the funnel and by naming values, interests, wants and needs, solutions emerge that may not have been considered prior. The beauty of this type of mediation is that agreements become highly individualized and unique to the circumstances each party brings to the mediation process.
In an ideal situation, conflict resolution includes opportunities for restorative practices, reparation of harm and very simply, recognition of each person’s voice, contribution and personal agency. Action items such as participation in parenting classes, grief or anger management classes, drug/alcohol treatment, could be items for discussion and included in agreements within the context of mediation if these allow for better lasting agreements long term. Even without restorative practices, mediation allows the parties to become less focused on past events, focus on the future, new beginnings and establish the boundaries needed for all parties to end conflicts, live safely and freely.