What is Divorce Mediation?
Divorce Mediation offers a process for couples to end a partnership or marriage by making decisions together with a trained mediator to create agreements that can be signed by a judge to become binding.
Couples ending relationships via mediation take personal responsibility for what happens by creating agreements that are documented through a memorandum of understanding (MOU).
Divorce Mediation differs from litigation using an adversarial process such as attorney or court. Litigated proceedings result in judgments and/or orders from a judge. Mediated agreements differ significantly in that each party shares responsibility for creating agreements about the next steps with all decisions personally co-determined. Parties make decisions for themselves rather than ask for a court to do so for them.
Issues which can be decided in mediation include:
- Sharing and Allocating Parental Responsibilities
- Creating a Parenting Plan
- Child Support
- Maintenance
- Marital Assets and Debts
- Navigating Shared Costs of Health/Life Insurance
- therapies
- & other Shared Responsibilities Moving Forward
What is the Process of Divorce Mediation?
- Shop around for a mediator that fits your needs. At Gwen Mediation, each party is offered a Free 30-minute Free Consultation (HERE) to ask questions about the mediator’s approach. Gwen mediation offers “facilitative mediation services”. Gwen is a 30-year veteran nationally certified school psychologist. Gwen will facilitate mediation sessions by exploring child and family issues including special needs of children and caregivers. Sessions may be adapted to accommodate the needs of the participants and provided in environments that protect neurologically diverse individuals to help parties participate fully.
- Consultation: During the 30-minute free consultation, Gwen will complete an intake form, get basic information related to contact information for parties and attorneys (if represented), as well as creating a list of general issues.
- Intake Form: Our Intake Form provides an opportunity to communicate concerns related to mediation that may impact a person’s ability to speak, hear, see, listen effectively, move as needed, concentrate or feel safe. This form allows participants to request accommodation if needed. It is through the consultation process and completion of the intake form that the mediator and the parties will determine if mediation is appropriate for their circumstances and if mediation should be conducted in person or via zoom.
- First Meeting: At the first session, participants will be required to sign an agreement to mediate. This document specifies the role of the mediator and limits in this role. For example, a mediator is not allowed to provide legal advice or testify. The role of the mediator is fully explained in the agreement to mediate which both parties must sign prior to beginning the first session.
During this first session a list of issues (needs/wants/concerns) is generated and may be referred to as an “issue’s list”. The first session will then proceed by clarifying this list, prioritizing easier to more difficult issues to be decide, and which issues seem most urgent.
- Homework: Seek Advice from trusted sources. Complete all financial disclosure documentation, consult with financial or estate planners, obtain legal representation to review your documents and final agreements, seek mental or emotional support such as counseling as needed or pastoral support. Seek wisdom from trusted sources who will help you participate in mediation with knowledge and confidence. (add websites here). Although what happens in mediation is private and confidential, each party should seek advice as needed from professionals or seek information that will help them participate fully.
Divorce, Child Support, and Maintenance
Illinois Child Support
Illinois Legal Aid Online
Parental responsibilities (custody and visitation) resources
FA Financial Affidavit.pdf - Second Meeting: The mediator will use the “issues” list to facilitate discussions about issues with the greatest urgency; or discuss issues that are determined to be the easiest and have a high likelihood of early agreement. This second session will proceed through the list and result in either full agreements, partial agreements or pinpoint areas where the agreements are yet to be reached. These early agreements will be written into a DRAFT memorandum of understanding (MOU). Drafts memorandums can be taken to an attorney for review at any point. The mediator will continue to work through the issues list with time allowed in the second session or future sessions.
- Future sessions will follow this similar process, and issues will be discussed in an order that both parties agree to. Participants may share relevant or new information regarding the issues list, add to the list or clarify issues. Parties will be encouraged to broaden discussions by deepening their shared knowledge. Areas of disagreement are often clarified by engaging in deeper discussions which ultimately help determine if an agreement is possible or a trial agreement.
- All agreements are written in a memorandum of understanding and/or in documents approved by the IL Supreme Court for the purpose of filing pro se (if unrepresented).
PetitionForAllocationOfParentalResponsibilities_0.pdf
DWC Parenting Plan.pdf
Divorce, Child Support, and Maintenance
What Issues can Divorce Mediation Resolve?
Gwen Mediation will mediate parenting agreements in a safe environment to discuss sensitive topics, parenting styles and questions, that may be particular to parenting children with special interests, talents, educational, social/emotional or learning needs. Mediation should be safe space to discuss unique situations such as work schedules that impact details such as nighttime routines and weekend obligations that impact free time. Parenting agreements should show evidence of individualized understanding of each family’s uniqueness while having dedication to strong parent child bonds. Similarly, engaging in discussion about fairness related to financial decisions, division of property or child support and maintenance all require safe environments to brainstorm and reach decisions.
- Allocation of Parenting Responsibilities / Parenting Plans:
Decisions about who does what and when should include whether one or both parents are responsible for: medical decision making, educational decision making, religious decision making and to what extent a child may engage in extracurricular commitments. Weekday routines, weekend routines and holidays /vacations will be decided as well. Other decisions could include issues such as when a child is old to work, drive, or have a voice regarding where or when they spend time with each parent. College expenses may be included at any stage of mediation either early in the process of creating agreements or as teens approach secondary education (returning to mediation to add on to or revise mediated agreements). Mediation may include topics that parents already have known or even chronic disagreements about such as limits to internet access, social media access, gaming, cell phone use, or dating. Some parents alternate teacher conference attendance, or attendance at school events while some parents attend all events jointly. All parenting decisions that could present conflicts may be relevant topics for discussion with a mediator particularly if/when the conflict impacts the well-being of the family.
- Separation of Property: Below are several areas that will be discussed and possibly divided during divorce mediation:
- Homes/Rentals/mortgages
- Investments/ Pensions, IRAs, 401K
- Bank savings and Checking Accounts
- Vehicles/Loans
- Collectibles
- Child Support: https://cscwebext.hfs.illinois.gov/CscWebEx/app/estimator?execution=e1s1
- Maintenance: https://calculators.law/calculators/maintenance/illinois
What is the Cost of Divorce Mediation?
Mediation costs significantly less than litigation in court or having an attorney engage in negotiations on your behalf with other opposing attorney(s).
Hiring Attorneys and/or using litigation can be as high as $10,000 to $20,000 dollars or more.
Mediation may cost as little $300.00 to $600.00 dollars depending on the number of decisions that need to be made.
Time is also a cost. Litigation may take up to 2 years to obtain a final judgment. Mediation is a conservative process protecting individuals from having sustained costs not only in terms of attorney fees and court fees, filing fees etc. but in terms of lost time at work, stress and worry related to commitments away from home that may have an impact on physical health, childcare, and general feelings of security and/or overall well-being of everyone involved. Moreover, Gwen mediation LLC offers appointments in the evenings or weekends to provide options for working parents to avoid missing work in 1- and 2-hour time segments to attempt to resolve issues in larger “chunks of time” and reduce the commitment to higher frequency schedule of meetings that might be avoided.
How Many Sessions Does Divorce Mediation Take?
Generally, 1 to 4 sessions are typically all that is needed to pinpoint solutions to the issues or clarify which issues will require a judge to decide. Mediation outcomes may include full agreement on all issues, partial agreements (with only one or only a small number of unresolved issues). However, if mediated agreements are determined to be unlikely, the mediator may terminate mediation early in the process to save parties money and time and recommend obtaining legal representation to seek relief.
Why Choose Gwen for your Divorce Mediation needs?
Gwen is empathetically trained to mediate and facilitate deeper discussions that create shared knowledge. Gwen has been facilitating high stakes discussions in the educational system to build consensus with full participation of all stake holders since the early 1990s. Gwen works hard to find common ground. Agreements that incorporate shared values also become wise agreements that produce long term resolution and closure. The goal of mediation is to protect these values, create and protect strong parent bonds, determine fair next steps financially for our lives and establish freedom for each party to pursue individual future goals.
Other Mediation Help
Link to step-by-step instructions on how to e-file: https://www.illinoiscourts.gov/self-help/how-to-e-file/
Link to Illinois Court Help: www.ilcourthelp.gov or text or call 833-411-1121
