What is Adult Care Mediation?
Older mature adults (traditionally referred to as our “elders”) often need assistance as they age using Elder Care Mediation. However, different perspectives on how best to provide extra care may trigger strong emotions among adult children as well as other family members, spouses, and even grandchildren. Adult siblings who grow up sharing an aging parent may find themselves in uncharted territory, gradually engaging more parent-like with their parents as they age. As families navigate this path, differing proposals and ideas often trigger strong emotions, even old jealousies. A trained Elder Care Mediator can equalize all the voices in the room. Through mediation, families strive to develop a long-term elder care plan that defines the roles and responsibilities for the adult children of the aging loved one and defines how decisions will be made and by whom. Elder Care Mediation often brings family members closer as they share values and goals and respect the contributions each member offers.
Why is Elder Care Mediation important if conflicts exist?
As families make decisions, especially high-stakes decisions, our dynamics may become out of balance. Some members may have stronger voices or a history of making decisions that dominate others. Conflicts between family members may have lasting consequences, especially if one member feels less valued at the table or unseen and believes their voice is or usually has been ignored. When we listen intently to others’ ideas and beliefs, the potential for creating wise and lasting agreements grows; however, this process is difficult under stress, worry, especially with time pressures. Choosing to find a trained facilitator at this point can be extremely helpful and protective of our family relationships well into the future.
What is the process of Eldercare Mediation?
During Elder Care Mediation, family members co-develop an issues list and address these issues in an agreed-upon order. Issue lists usually spark questions that may require research on topics such as available resources.
The goal is to create agreements throughout the process, including what is placed on the issue list, what questions should be answered, and how to brainstorm solutions as a family that may stem from new information.
Family members/stakeholders will engage in fine-tuning possible solutions to find acceptable, sustainable solutions that consider the concerns of all those involved, keep the goals of the loved one in mind, and include the active participation of the loved one whenever possible.
Examples of Elder Care Conflicts:
- When is it time for our loved ones to stop driving?
- When is it time for our loved one to have in-home supportive services?
- Should we offer more support as a family by dividing up responsibilities (e.g., grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, driving assistance for appointments)?
- Is it time for our loved ones to live with other retirees to get more socialization?
- Is it time for some skilled care within the home or in a supportive living environment? (Are they getting proper nutrition, activities for wellness?)
- Is there a need for medical evaluation related to memory loss, depression, diabetes, alcoholism, Alzheimer’s, or other concerns?
- Are there high risks of falls? Do we need to move our loved one to a more secure home? Do they need to wear a fall alert device?
- Are there any safety concerns related to Cybersecurity, predatory scammers asking for donations or access to personal identifying information or financial information?
- Is my loved one safe with the care providers we thought we could trust?
How can Gwen help you with Elder Care Mediation?
Gwen is a trained facilitator who manages the process and leads participants through stages of creating lists, brainstorming, fine-tuning solutions, and decision-making.
Mediation is a voluntary process. There may be some legal issues that must be addressed through the court system and not resolved in mediation. Gwen is not an attorney and cannot give legal advice. However, mediation creates opportunities to clarify concerns, brainstorm, and fine-tune ideas, where parties find solutions that are often surprising.
Contact Gwen Mediation today to get started with Elder Care Mediation.
